How to be..

Everyone, or I guess most people (in case there’s that one person that this doesn’t apply to), has an ambition or aspiration or goal of some kind. Some might say that there wouldn’t be a point in living if you didn’t have goal in life but I think there are multiple reasons to live, another one being finding a reason to live or just, you know, figuring things out.
When you’ve got a life goal especially an awesome one like finding and capturing a pegasus (but seriously guys, let them live free) it might take a lot of effort and at times seem impossible.

Definitely impossible
Definitely impossible (did not draw)

I remember having so many goals and giving up a lot of them. I used to want to be a pharmacist when I was like five because my mom was and I wanted to be a singer ’cause I mean what kind of little growing up girl doesn’t? I also used to want to be pretty much everything and I gave up a lot of them. Maybe that was why I became a poet (twice published, yo!!). Of course I quit that pretty recently.

I quit a lot of these goals and ambitions and aspirations because I was self-conscious. I was self-conscious about not being the best there was and about people judging me negatively. This might not make any sense but look at it this way: Imagine putting a lot of effort and personal thought into something and when you were finished you loved it and were so proud of it. A good example would be having a kid. You, hopefully, strive to raise your kid to be smart and kind and just overall the most perfectest human being of the WHOLE planet. Alright, so you got that image in your head, now imagine there’s a kid picking on your beautiful amazing kid who is allegedly the best human in the whole world..

First of all: that’s absolutely heartbreaking.

I don’t exactly know if that was the best example because (1. I don’t have a kid.. and consequently (2. I’m not a mom. So I’m not sure I got my point across but pretty much a person’s work is the kid and the person who creates the work is the mom and the bully is a critic and butt snot is butt snot.

It easily shakes a person’s confidence when they pour their heart into something and someone says something bad about it or the person starts to think their work isn’t good enough.

A lot of the reasons I quit things is because someone I loved and looked up to told me I was bad at something or that what I was doing was pointless so I just sort of gave up. The difference with drawing and my ambition of becoming an artist is that I’m living my life differently now. As a person I’m more confident and little less sensitive to harsh or negative opinions about my work. My family and friends really boost me up when it comes to confidence and I think I have enough now for an entire lifetime (kinda like Luffy in One Piece).


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