As you all have undoubtedly noticed I draw characters in this blog that complete the actions I illustrate them doing like knitting or holding gigantic comedically large stacks of books, but I’ve been thinking..
Isn’t it strange that those “default” characters aren’t various depictions of me?
I could just as easily add some little wave of hair on the side or glasses and boom–done! but maybe this representation of myself that I’ve built-in all of my creative works: from space unicorn, Solis, and various other comics, transcends my actual real-life characteristics. When I started this blog and illustrating my posts I thought it would be more accessible for you, the reader, to have a race-less, gender-less, person with no characteristics of importance. I figure it would also allow you to feel able to connect with the retelling of experiences instead of being tied down or restricted by characteristics that you might not identify with.
But I’ve been done some thinking in this troubled creative blocked mind of mine: It’s been over a year and I’ve found my sort of groove in this space and with my audience so why haven’t I come out of my gender-less, race-less, characteristic-less shell of a visual persona?
I’ve come to the conclusion that it might be because of my being gender fluid… some days I do feel feminine and on other days I feel like not a gender while on other days I feel like all the genders which in turn causes me to create a form that even I can inhabit and connect with at all times even when I feel masculine/feminine/agender/pangender/etc.
My true self is one that is nothing, nothing really of substance.
To be clear that isn’t something I regret or want to change about myself because I love who I am and who I’ve grown to become but sometimes I get lost in my own convoluted thoughts